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Joke of the Day

"Me: ""Dude, I brought another dress for you to clean."" Dry cleaner: *takes off headphone* ""Sorry, come again?"" Me: ""No, mustard."""

"The other day, a frog jumped underneath my lawmower.. I guess he was trying to *kermit* suicide."

"KEIRA KNIGHTLEY DOESN'T EXIST Q: How do you know that Keira Knightley doesn't exist? A: Because the camera adds 10 pounds."

"What's your opinion on the mobius strip debate? I find it a tad one-sided."

"Why does Edward Woodward have so many Ds in his name? Because if he didn't, he'd be called Ewar Woowar."

"Why did James Comey refuse to indict Hillary Clinton? Because he found his suicide note in her Wikileaks emails."

"Why is 17 called the ""mother-in-law"" in black jack? Because you wanna hit it, but sometimes you cant."

"Luke Skywalker and Yoda are on a ride when... **Luke**: *Are we on the right course, Master Yoda?*. **Yoda**: *Off course we are*."

"What is the creepiest letter of the alphabet? V. Because no matter where you are, any time of any day, no matter what you do, V always follows U."

"What does Pong and WW1 have in common? It's not about strategy, but endurance."