2081

Joke of the Day

"I'm getting tired of riding to work from New Jersey to Manhattan with my neighbors I guess I'm getting Carpool Tunnel syndrome"

"I don't run with scissors. The last 2 words in that sentence were unnecessary."

"I watch too much Asian porn... I accidentally learned to speak Korean."

"As a gay male, just once, I wish someone would ask me how I like my coffee. Them: Hey, how do you like your coffee? Me: Like I love my men! Them: Oh, Black? Me: No, anally!"

"My sex life is like Coca-Cola; first it was normal, then light and now zero."

"Pretty lame how horses and dogs don't capitalize on their ability to wear 2 pairs of jean shorts at once"

"There's a new type of broom out, it's sweeping the nation."

"Me: Can u send me those documents? Coworker: Yes, but u can actually get them by-- Me: Nope, don't try teaching me to fish. Not interested."

"makes sense that the CEO of Apple came out as gay. He kept resisting my technological advances."

"Give a man a cat and he eats for a day. Give him too many cats, and people will be like, ""Are you giving cats to that guy who eats cats?!?"""