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Joke of the Day

"As a gay male, just once, I wish someone would ask me how I like my coffee. Them: Hey, how do you like your coffee? Me: Like I love my men! Them: Oh, Black? Me: No, anally!"

"People complain about auto-correct but it is helpful 99% of the titties."

"Firemen are always really friendly, until they figure out it was you that started the fire."

"What is the world famous Chef Gordan's favorite football team? The Ramsays"

"If I could have dinner with anyone either alive or dead I would totally choose dead. Because, more food for me then."

"Why do bronies get so upset about the friendzone? I thought friendship was magic"

"There's no I in anxiety. Wait. Yes there is. Oh my god oh my god oh my god"

"I'm so hungry I could eat a hor *horse walks by snorting aggressively* ticulturalist *horticulturalist pops up trimming hedge aggressively*"

"I shoot cans... Mexicans, Puerto Ricans, and Africans."

"My girlfriend really wants to try out some schoolgirl role play. However, I feel really uncomfortable wearing the dress..."