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Joke of the Day

"Life's a jungle let's go to your place and fuck like animals!"

"Jesus: Behold my powers. *walks onto water and falls in* [back in heaven] God: HAHAHAHAHA Angel: HAHAHAHA ""behold my powers"" God: HAHAHAHA"

"My mate asked me why I have sex noises saved on my ipod. ""I said, ""It's for sound effects during sex."" ""He asked, ""Your wife a bit quiet in the sack?"" ""I replied, ""No, I work in a morgue."""

"Does ""who cares"" count as advice?"

"What's the most popular Russian streaming service? Nyetflix"

"What do you call an orphan who grows up and becomes a priest? Father Les. And yes, as a matter of fact, I am a dad."

"What do walruses and tupperware have in common? They're both looking for a tight seal."

"""Dad, are you afraid of ghosts?"" ""Only when I think of all the people who've died & how they must have us seriously outnumbered...G'night!"""

"Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven acht nein."

"An american walks into InternetIsBeautiful. [Removed because he isn't an interactive solar system map]"