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Joke of the Day

"A lady walks into a bar and orders a double entendre... ...and the bartender gives it to her."

"I really hate the word ""subcutaneous."" Idk, for some reason it just gets under my skin."

"I practiced cursive for years in elementary school & my electronic bank signature still looks like it was signed by a drunk monkey."

"Why do all polish names end in ski? Because they can't spell toboggan (This joke brought to you by a 90 yr old polish man I take care of at a nursing home)"

"Son: Is it true? Dad I heard that in ancient China a man doesn't know his wife until he marries. Father: That happens everywhere son everywhere!"

"Sometimes I like to sit on the floor, bring my knees up to my chest and then lean forward. But that's just how I roll."

"Eat shit dude! No seriously, it's good for your eyes. You've never seen a dog with glasses have you?"

"Are you on a date with me or with your phone? Just make sure that phone pays your share of this bill by the end of the night."

"How the does man give his dead batteries away? Free of charge, of course."

"Why did Regina George's dog only play keep-away? because fetch is not going to happen."