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Joke of the Day
"How the does man give his dead batteries away? Free of charge, of course."
Next Joke
"Farts are just the ghosts of the things we eat."
"The Jedi know what we're getting for Christmas They have sensed our presents"
"How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogy in it!"
"What do you call customers at Lidl? Lidl people."
"Turns out I'm addicted to refigerated poultry. I've gotta quit cold turkey."
"Asians are so bad at driving... I'm starting to think Pearl Harbor was just an accident."
"[febreze commercial Take 1] We've blindfolded Steve and brought him into this room where we brutally murdered his family a week ago to demonstrate the strong odor fighting power of Febreze"
"*in bed* Him: what's your fantasy, baby? Me: Scrooge McDuck but skittles instead of gold Him: No, like sexual Me: Scrooge McDuck but skittl-"
"cop: ""sir im afraid your dog is too cool for this neighbourhood"" me: [turns his little baseball cap round right way] cop: ""ok that's better"""