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Joke of the Day

"I practiced cursive for years in elementary school & my electronic bank signature still looks like it was signed by a drunk monkey."

"Why didn't the racist eat the middle of his sunny-side up egg? Because he only likes whites."

"Real Road Signs (What they mean) ""Rough road"" (Road sucks) ""Construction zone"" (Unattended orange cone zone) ""Lanes shift"" (Confusing af)"

"How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're efficient, and don't have much of a sense of humour."

"Roses are red Violets are blue Who shit in my garden?"

"What do you call the sweat between two rednecks having sex? Relative humidity!"

"How did the guitar player bust the G string? He was fingering A Minor."

"If you had to steal a bike from someone, who would it be? A black guy, because it's probably already stolen."

"My favourite gymnastics move is the double cheeseburger."

"Therapist: what's your problem today? Me: I have this constant eye roll. Therapist: stop reading your own tweets."