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Joke of the Day

"Everything I ever needed to know about structural engineering, I learned from Angry Birds."

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"All men like to think they are marrying nymphomaniacs.The problem is that, after a few years, the nympho leaves but the maniac doesn't."
"How Does a Woman Make a Man a Millionaire? When he's a billionaire."
"Costume idea: Dress up like milkshake, wait in the yard."
"A Mexican singer has removed some of her ribs so she can look more like Shakira. I'm going to remove my cock so I can look more like Justin Bieber."
"I hope my search for my lost heroin... isn't in vein."
"What did the sign convention management do to the woman who kept pulling down their long signs? Banner."
"What do you call a black pilot? You call him a pilot! you racist!"
"I took my cat to Build-A-Bear so he could see what's going to happen to him if he pees on the carpet again."
"How is a vagina like a grapefruit? The best ones squirt when you eat them!"