1111

Joke of the Day

"What did the sign convention management do to the woman who kept pulling down their long signs? Banner."

"I met a pirate the other day that had a steering wheel in his pants. I asked him what that was. He said: ""rrrr ...i don't what it izz but it's driving mezzz nuts"""

"Are you an infidel? 'Cause i beheaden' your way."

"INTERVIEWER: What are your strengths? APPLICANT: I'm a detail-oriented team player [nothing wacky happens because this is a job interview]"

"Me: Tell me about your weekend. Bob: Why? You never ask. Me: I find your voice acts like a laxative. Bob: That's disgus- Me: It worked! Bye."

"When you said you wanted to show me a stiff one, I had no idea you worked in a morgue."

"The most popular car brands are German, Japanese, and Italian. It's like losing WW2 is a prerequisite for making good autos."

"Honey, since I met you, I have never been able to love anyone else. Why don't we get a divorce?"

"I put my earbuds on just like everybody else. Frantically as someone approaches."

"How many white cops does it take to push a black man down the stairs? None...he fell"