198448
Joke of the Day
"Costume idea: Dress up like milkshake, wait in the yard."
Next Joke
"Blackpeoplemeet.com is racist. What about Asians and Hispanics? What they really need is Nonwhitepeoplemeet.com"
"What did the BMW say to the Audi on the side of the road? Rust-in-peace."
"I don't play fantasy football, but I do play fantasy friendship. This week I'm starting Taylor Swift and Conan O'Brien."
"""DAAAAAAAD!! LOKI KEEPS STEALING MY THUNDER!!"" -adolescent Thor"
"[At job interview] Interviewer: So tell me why you want this job. Me: I have no money and I prefer when I have money."
"A genie asked me if I wanted a good memory or a big penis. Guy: A genie asked me if I wanted a good memory or a big penis. Friend: What did you choose? Guy: I don't remember."
"The Human Body Is 90% Water, So Basically We're Just Cucumbers With Anxiety"" - Science Person"
"Wife: We need to go to the store. We're out of milk. Me: We can wait a few days. Wife: We're out of beer. Me: *dives in the car*"
"What is one thing... That Bill Clinton failed at? *Domestic affairs*"