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Joke of the Day
"me: *tries to befriend another human being* another human being: oh, no thank you"
Next Joke
"What does an egg say at a party? omelette"
"Anyone else ever wondered how long it would take a giraffe to throw up ?"
"Noisy Nights by Constance Norah"
"Why do drummers carry transparent lunchboxes? So they know if they are going to the gig, or coming from it. Ta-boom!"
"Me: ""Could you show me where the self-help books are?"" Librarian: ""No."""
"Still trying to convince my boss that I'm just using beer-flavoured toothpaste."
"What idiot called it a tree trimmer instead of a branch manager?"
"Whats 12 inches long, rock hard, and full of semen? The sock under my bed."
"Breaking: Man takes longer to find emoji than it would have taken him to find words that convey what he wanted."