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Joke of the Day

"Well if Trump is a bad president, hopefully by the next election... We'll have 2020 hindsight"

"The steak that I put in the Easy Bake Oven as a child is still not done"

"If bars can say no to drunk people why won't McDonalds say no to fat people?"

"If im walking around with my arms crossed, there's a 90% chance im not mad...Im just probably not wearing a bra"

"Why do skunks celebrate valentines day? Because they are very scentimental."

"I am looking at my neighbor's wife through the wall with this new thermal imaging scope. She's hot!"

"The birds and the bees I told my son about the birds and the bees. He then told me about the postman and my wife."

"So my daughters friend came over the other day and they played house together Now I have $50k in medical bills and she thinks she has Lupus."

"Why wont ISIS bomb my local Walmart? ...because its not a Target."

"That's it! No more dick jokes! I'm only doing jokes about intellectual topics, like finance! Today the Vietnamese Dong remained firm against the Zambian Kwacha."