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Joke of the Day
"Him: you're terrifying Me: awww you're just saying that"
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"If you live to be 100, you should make up some fake reason why, just to fuck with people... like claim you ate a pinecone every single day."
"I am finally going to stop procrastinating. Starting tomorrow..."
"I don't talk about it a lot but I've been to outer space many times."
"A Polish girl got married On her wedding night, she received something long and hard from her husband. It was his last name."
"Which football team loves ice-cream? Aston Vanilla!"
"Dad's last words ""Why hello, Serious, my name's..."""
"Thanksgiving regret: no one at dinner wanted to talk about why the family members on TV's ""Dinosaurs"" were all different species of dinosaur"
"What do gay horses eat ? hayyyy"
"I can't have kids CUZ the second they disrespect me hooomaaagaww I would throw a child out a window"