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Joke of the Day
"Why was the washing machine laughing? Because it was taking the piss out of the pants"
Next Joke
"My girlfriend said I have crusty feet. I blame my socks."
"There are two secrets to success 1. Never tell anyone all of your secrets 2."
"Children in the dark cause accidents. Accidents in the dark cause children."
"Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom."
"""Action, camera, lights!"" - dyslexic and now unemployed director"
"[sits son down after he didn't win science fair] son, tomorrow some will call me ""hero"" others will call me ""guy who fought a teacher"""
"How do you communicate with a fish? You drop him a line."
"TRUE FRIENDSHIP: Walking into a persons house and your wifi connects automatically."
"It's cute how they show subtitles during Here Comes Honey Boo Boo & pretend that anyone watching might actually know how to read."