207698
Joke of the Day
"A nurse takes a rectal thermometer from her jacket pocket ""Great. Some arsehole's got my pen"""
Next Joke
"Yes, I said I was sorry and that I'd do anything to win you back. But that was before you told me you needed a ride to the airport at 5am."
"When people are trending on twitter, I know that they died or said something racist."
"My girlfriend just broke up with me, mainly because of my extreme Burger King addiction. So I said to her ""Fine, have it your way."""
"How did the media find out that princess Diana had dandruff? They saw her head and shoulders in the glove compartment"
"All the world does is try to tear us apart. -me to my bed every morning"
"How do we know a blind man created mermaids? He smelled the bottom half of a woman.."
"The sign at the McDonald's I just passed says ""We hiring"" in case you're wondering what kind of qualifications you need to have to be hired."
"*Sleeping Beauty gives rotten apple to Obama* *Obama faints* Only a kiss from his one true love will save him *Biden takes out lipstick*"
"If you want to piss off a fat person, just date their ex. They hate when someone messes with their leftovers"