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Joke of the Day

"How did the media find out that princess Diana had dandruff? They saw her head and shoulders in the glove compartment"

"If you've ever written a Yelp review of a Starbucks, I can help you kill yourself if you like?"

"[at ER] ME: my stomach hurts. DOC: have you been able to eat anything today? ME: yeah, like 75 pieces of pizza."

"My dog is called cigarette as he's got no legs Every evening I take him for a drag"

"I would make a Sodium and Hydrogen joke but... The fine bros own the rights to it :("

"Get a tattoo with Chinese symbols that reads, ""I don't know. I don't speak Chinese."" Wait for people to ask what your tattoo means."

"My wife was stunned!!.. One day my wife and I were cuddling in bed when she said, ""Hon, You are so cozy""... I got offended and yelled back, ""Fuck you.. YOU are sarkozy""..."

"Who was the 45th Vice President of the United States? [Warning: Gore]"

"What do Saiyans and Kelly Clarkson have in common? (x-post r/funny) What doesn't kill them, makes them stronger."

"What's a redditors favorite Imagine Dragons song GOLD!"