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Joke of the Day

"""I ran a half marathon"" sounds so much better than ""I quit halfway through a marathon""."

"Lobotomy is the solution for all mental illnesses It's a no brainer"

"I think that if Ann Coulter and Rush Limbaugh had their brains swapped, the world would be better because that surgery sounds really risky."

"What do you do when your dishwasher breaks? Remarry"

"CLOUD: wow im honored, no one ever flies up here to visit me up in the sky HELICOPTER: well im a gigantic fan"

"I know a good dad joke. But I have to wait for Dad to come back to tell."

"What do you do if you come across a lion in the jungle? Wipe it off and apologise"

"Why did the feminist cross the road? To suck my cock!"

"What do you call an underwater dog? Scuba Doo"

"Did you hear about the Buddhist that refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication"