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Joke of the Day

"Two flies are eating a turd. One of them farts, and the other one says ""Dude, gross. I'm eating."""

"YOLO You Only Love Owls."

"ME: My dog's so happy I'm working from home. DOG (to camera): Honestly, a heads up would have been nice. I had shit planned today."

"I need to buy a new inflatable love doll. The one I have now is almost full."

"what idiot called it becoming a zombie and not waking up on the wrong side of the dead"

"What do women and fly wire have in common? The more you bang them, the looser they get."

"My friend told me that recycling is good for the environment Not on Reddit, apparently. I got downvoted a lot..."

"Hey, strippers named ""Elantra"". It's too late to grow some self respect but at least read Car and Driver before picking a name."

"Some mornings I just want to brew the coffee directly into my mouth."

"My wife said ""why do you always treat me like a cunt?"" I didn't know what to say, so I just put 2 fingers in her mouth and licked her nose."