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Joke of the Day

"My wife said ""why do you always treat me like a cunt?"" I didn't know what to say, so I just put 2 fingers in her mouth and licked her nose."

"Birth control pills should really be made for men. It makes more sense to unload a gun than to shoot a bullet proof vest"

"The ATM told me, ""Not enough funds in account,"" when I tried to withdraw. This ATM needs a bigger account."

"A hot girl goes to confession She says ""father, I had sex out of wedlock"" The priest says ""pics or it didn't happen"""

"What did the sausage say when it couldn't log on to the Internet? If at first you don't succeed Fry Fry again"

"How can you tell if your girlfriend is getting fat? She fits into your wife's clothes"

"What's the great thing about 25 year olds? There's 20 of them."

"When I'm having a bad day, I like to think of Prince William, Prince and will.i.am introducing themselves to each other."

"I lost my wife a year ago today. Sadly, within four days I won her back."

"What did the horse say to whinnie the pooh while watching his t.v. show? I wish I could hear you whinnie."