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Joke of the Day

"Today I found out what it feels like to be discriminated against. I was unfairly labeled a scrub JUST because I was hanging out the passenger side of my best friend's ride."

"Why do Germans fear hotdogs with cheese? Because for them, it is a Wurst-Kase scenario."

"You know how asparagus makes your pee smell? Well, I just heard from my father for the first time in 14 years."

"I've just been dumped by my girlfriend. She found me creepy because I have a nickname for my penis. Guess now that I'm single again I'll have to take Matters into my own hands."

"I turn 39 years old today. But they're Canadian years."

"Well it's almost time for that "" New Year New Me "" bullshit again!"

"What kind of concert costs 45cents? 50cent feat. Nickelback"

"You can make fun of Kim and Kanye's kid all you want... But that kid is going nowhere but up... And slightly to the left."

"What do you call a rich Asian? *Cha Ching!*"

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly your dick into your girlfriend's ass"