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Joke of the Day

"The ultimate comfort food: a blanket made out of grilled cheese sandwiches."

"Hey, everyone in a minivan-- hit the gas!"

"My friend tells me he gets 20 times more bitches than me I told him: u get no bitches because 20*0=0 :("

"My grandpa died peacefully in his sleep I can't speak for everyone else in his car though"

"When I have kids I'm gonna tell them drugs are good for them. It's the only way I can be sure they won't try them."

"Don't be silly, I'm not objectifying women. I'm not sexually attracted to objects."

"MOVE CHEESE!! Get out of the whey!! Credit to some youtuber."

"How do you know if a hippo is in your oven? The door won't close"

"What are the three rings of marriage? The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and then the suffering"

"I was tired yesterday and now I'm tired again today I'm retired"