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Joke of the Day

"Why are redneck murders so hard to solve? Because all the DNA matches and there's no dental records."

"Tried cleaning the house to the A-Team theme and ended up building a tank. So close."

"I startled my dog as she was peeing on a mailbox so now the dog she was leaving a message for is only gonna get half of it"

"Pick up line#375: hey are you a school? Because i want to shoot kids inside you."

"What the difference between the titanic and climate change? Climate change beat the ice berg"

"Mother Teresa lived to 87. Do you know how much sex she had in all those years? Nun."

"Don't you just hate it when... people don't finish their"

"I didn't want to grow up; I just wanted to be able to reach for the cookies."

"Therapist: we need to work on YOU taking responsibility for YOUR actions Me: *pulls a flask out* WHO PUT THIS IN MY PURSE?"

"Why aren't cowboys circumcised? So they have somewhere to put their dip at lunch"