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Joke of the Day
"Don't be silly, I'm not objectifying women. I'm not sexually attracted to objects."
Next Joke
"My Muslim wife left me the other day.... I guess she didn't know what Jihad."
"Why was the kitten fired from his telemarketing job? For Catcalling"
"I guess the guy who named the space between stuff in the universe ""space"" was just tired."
"[grocery store with 2yo] Cashier: your son is so cute. What do you want to have next? Me: a vasectomy"
"I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.. I can't put it down."
"Q: What do they use frozen band-aids for? A: Cold cuts."
"Why did Nixon never drive on the highway? Because he always took the low road."
"*someone hands me a baby* Oh... no thank you *places baby on the ground*"
"My problem with McDonalds is I can't go retrieve my kids in the play tubes because I can't fit in the play tubes because I eat at McDonalds."