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Joke of the Day

"What are the three rings of marriage? The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and then the suffering"

"Even though I don't smoke cigarettes, I exclusively date women who do... I figure if they're willing to suck on something that nasty, they'll suck just about anything."

"Where did Sadam Hussein keep his CD collection? In Iraq."

"Hey big accounts - What's it like to tweet ""My cat sneezed"" and get 500 RT in the first minute ? My cat would be dead before I got 50"

"Q: How does Bill Gates screw in a lightbulb? A: He doesn't. He declares darkness the industry standard."

"What's long and hard and full of seamen? A submarine"

"What do you get if cross two young dogs with a pair of headphones ? Hush puppies !"

"I made a miniature lemon-lime pie... It was a little tart"

"I asked my mom where she went to get groceries and if she would tell me if anyone died in game of thrones. She said... Jons, no"

"Man marries deaf girl He writes ""we must work out a code: If I want sex I'll stroke ur left breast-U reply by pulling my penis ONCE for YES OR 62 times for NO!"