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Joke of the Day

"I was absolutely fuming when I walked out of the art store earlier Bitch didn't have my Monet"

"I slept in my sons crib last night I wanted to see what all the fuss was about."

"So this guy with a premature ejaculation problem? comes out of nowhere."

"I went to see Jurassic World because I heard there was a recently genetically modified dinosaur... I didn't see Caitlyn Jenner anywhere"

"Where do Amish people go to get medicine? To the farmacy."

"English teachers' favorite knock-knock joke Knock-knock Who's there? To To who? *To whom*"

"Be nice to a nerd. Prevent a supervillain."

"I love being a mom. I just left the vacuum running in front of my teenagers door until he woke up. Should have done what I asked, lil shit!"

"Some people you know were dropped on their heads as babies. Some were clearly thrown in the air, hit the ceiling fan, bounced off the wall & fell out the window."

"I asked my North-Korean friend how it was there... He said he couldn't complain."