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Joke of the Day

"Q: What is a pig's favorite superhero? A: The Oinkredible Hulk."

"What is an astronomer? A night watchman with a college education."

"I thought girls liked guys who are assholes? The entire subway ride I refused my seat to like 20 women and not one gave me their number."

"The trick to successfully backing out of a parking space is to not care what happens to you or anyone else."

"What was the best use of the phrase ""That's what she said"" you've ever heard in person?"

"The difference between Indiana and California In Indiana there are lots of budding young farmers. In California there are lots of young bud farmers."

"I went for a run but came back home after 5 minutes because I forgot something. I forgot that I'm fat and can't run for more than 5 minutes"

"I had an ex-girlfriend who was rather big, and she possessed an unusual talent; she was ambidextrose - she could polish off a box of chocolates with either hand."

"Bad puns are the best puns How can you tell that a baker's hands are on fire? He can't seem to *stop droppin' rolls*."

"""You suck."" ""No, you suck."" ""Really, you suck."" ""Please, you suck."" ""You suck, I insist."" -- Polite vampires."