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Joke of the Day

"Had sex at the bowling ally on the ball return.. ...the girl loved it because I gave her 9lbs from the front and 14 from the back"

"I went to Costco the other day... As I was checking out the cashier asked me "" Do you wanna box?"" I said ""No, but I'll wrestle you!"""

"I am in the S&M period in my relationship She sleeps, I masturbate."

"What do you call a helicopter with a bad paint job? A patchy gunship"

"Asians aren't bad drivers. They're just disoriented."

"Why was the letter ""Z"" lucky it was not Jewish? Because all the other letters were NOT Zs!"

"I often worry about the safety of my children, especially the one that is rolling their eyes at me & talking back right now."

"Just saw The Imitation Game & it was FILLED with historical inaccuracies about World War II. They don't even mention Captain America at all."

"Why do they call me an oven? Because when I get turned on things get really hot"

"Bought a cat collar with a bell on it, and now I can't sneak up on the cat to put it on her."