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Joke of the Day

"Why is every boob job the same? Two round boobs. Switch it up ladies. Someone get two Belgian waffles or something."

"Got a handjob from a blind girl last night She said ""You're dicks the biggest one I've ever put my hands on."" I said ""Nahh, you're just pullin' my leg."" Edit: spell check"

"How does Homer Simpson say watermelon in French? Melon D'OH"

"Remember when Michael Jackson hung his baby off that balcony as a goof? He's dead now."

"What do you call a cheap circumcision?? A rip off"

"I heard there is a new dating app for paedophiles Kinder is due to be released shortly!"

"If you're a vegan w a gluten allergy who doesn't own a TV do you put it on a business card or just wait to force it into every conversation?"

"""Roses are red, violets are blue, fuck you whore."""

"What do you call cows that don't have a sense of humor? Feminists."

"If I take a bite of your food at a restaurant and your food is better than my food, just be aware that our relationship is now in danger"