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Joke of the Day

"How do you get a 90 year old lady to yell fuck? Get another 90 year old to yell ""BINGO!"""

"I only work because it feels so good when I stop."

"Racism, white supremacy, xenophobia, sexism, misogyny, etc...these things aren't wrong. They're just alt-right."

"this subreddit's online users http://puu.sh/lcMkv.png i'm not sure if i'm accurate but is it possible that the current users are online users - the sub users?"

"Why don't birds ever wear underwear? Because their pecker is on their head."

"What do you call a cross between a gorilla and a monkey? A cross."

"Some things are better left unsaid, but I'm probably gonna get drunk and say them anyway."

"What happens if I make a cake with washing soda, not baking soda? You end up clean round the bend. Apologies for stealing the title from /r/science"

"Why do you put a baby into a blender feet-first? So you can see the look on its face. How do you get said baby out of the blender? Tortilla chips."

"How do you tell if there's a Pilot in the room? They've already told you."