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Joke of the Day
"How do you get a 90 year old lady to yell fuck? Get another 90 year old to yell ""BINGO!"""
Next Joke
"How to convert QT3.14 into GF format? Sorry, this option is not available in Beta version."
"*shakes self after staring at ceiling* Sorry honey, I was just thinking about Mitt Romney"
"I've been getting fewer and fewer new followers but I'll be damned if I'm going to tweet something good just because some people have taste."
"Am I supposed to know my own blood type? I don't even know what types of blood there are"
"yo mama so fat when she dive into the ocean there is a tsunami warning out!!"
"How many tickles does it take to make a octopus laugh? TEN Tickles LuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuL"
"What is the difference between a sociopath and a buddhist? A sociopath sees people as things; a buddhist sees things as people."
"Masturbation: It *comes in hand*y."
"Why was Hitler late for work? He tried driving a new route to work, but instead of taking the second left, he took the third reich."