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Joke of the Day

"What happens if I make a cake with washing soda, not baking soda? You end up clean round the bend. Apologies for stealing the title from /r/science"

"My standards for women are way too high You could almost say they're... Double standards"

"Why did the chicken fall in the well? He couldn't see that well."

"If Chuck Norris is running late, time slows down. It knows better."

"Feeling pretty good about myself today so I'm going to go meet up with an ex-girlfriend to bring me back down to normal"

"This lady went to ISIS to convince her son who joined them to come back home She will beheading home soon"

"I hate autocorrect I texted my grandma saying ""Sex tonight"". I meant tomorrow"

"Why can't an Asian couple have a white child? Because two Wongs don't make a white."

"One day Canada will take over the world. Then we'll all be sorry."

"ASTRONAUT: Houston, we have a problem. HOUSTON: Oh, we're fine down here, thanks for asking. Let's make this all about you though, as usual."