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Joke of the Day

"You're going to look great at your prom. If you're thin and spent 3 grand on a dress. Otherwise you'll look like a dumpy Russian hooker."

"Him: Your beautiful.... Me: My beautiful what? My beautiful WHAT?!!"

"2 guys walk into a bar.. The third one ducked."

"I asked Dumbledore what 3 + 5 was. It didn't know the answer because it was a dumb old door."

"Lawyer Joke :) What's the difference between a Lawyer & a Hooker? A hooker quits screwing you when you're dead :)"

"What do you get when you have Avogadro's number of donkeys? Molasses."

"She said that having a successful marriage is all about making sacrifices so I threw her into a volcano."

"A grasshopper walks into a bar....... And the bar staff said to the grasshopper "" theres a drink named after you "" The Grasshopper replied "" theres a drink called bob?! """

"I don't see countries or borders, I don't see color or race or anything that differentiates people. Seriously, I think I fucked up my eyes."

"When is it acceptable to not tip your server? when your a system admin, and your server if tipped could destroy many websites."