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Joke of the Day

"Donald Trump wants to ban the sale of shredded cheese . . . so he can make America grate again."

"Sleep is like sex, you never get enough of it and sometimes it feels like it never happened at all."

"What do you call a Corvette following a Camaro at high speeds? Chevy Chase."

"Deli meats I knew a guy who was addicted to deli meats. He just couldn't quit cold turkey."

"I'm taking your mom to the new British dollar store Pound Town."

"A priest, a child abuser and just plain pedophile went to a bar. And he ordered one drink."

"""Dad can you tell me 5 animals that live in the North Pole?"" "" yes son , 3 polar bears and 2 seals. Anything else?"" ___ ""No dad thanks""___ ""No problem son"""

"With Instagram's new video function, we will now be able to hear the quacks from all the duck faces."

"Some naughty science shit. 63 earths can fit inside ur-anus."

"A pair of mittens says to a hat, ""I'll stay here, you go on a head"""