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Joke of the Day
"2 guys walk into a bar.. The third one ducked."
Next Joke
"Capital letters... ...the difference between using chemicals to remove polish, and using chemicals to remove Polish."
"What did the lazy surgeon say to his patient? Suture self!"
"I bet the frankincense guy was all like, ""Let's put the three items in one gift basket and the basket can be from all of us."""
"I'm going on a vodka diet. Apparently you can lose 3 days in one week..."
"Fun Fact: Vegetarians live up to nine years longer than meat-eaters. Nine horrible, tedious, meaningless, worthless, meatless years."
"*pretends floor is lava* *looks around* *slyly pushes homework onto the floor*"
"What do you call a dinosaur that hates punchlines? MY LEGS! OH GOD, HE'S EATING MY LEGS! AAAAARGGHH!"
"My grandmother, 86 years old, just entered medical school. She's a cadaver, and she is living death to the fullest."
"What was Beethoven's favorite fruit? BA-NA-NA-NAAAAAA!"