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Joke of the Day

"Lawyer Joke :) What's the difference between a Lawyer & a Hooker? A hooker quits screwing you when you're dead :)"

"I want to start a business selling bait for fishing I plan to call it, ""Master Baiters & Tackle"""

"Mechanic: what seems to be the problem? Me: nice try buddy, that's what I'm paying you for"

"My deity ignored my prayers today. The sacrifice was a disaster. First, I didn't have the correct incantation, and then the goat knocked over the candles. I guess two wrongs don't make a rite."

"My son can go from ""omg...you're impossible I can't wait until I'm 18!"" To ""you're the best mom ever"" in a matter of $100"

"What do you do to a dog that doesn't obey your commands? You kill it."

"I once told a girl to text me when she gets home She must have been homeless"

"What is green, sings and can be found in the fridge? Elvis Parsley"

"What's the highest point in the ocean? The Marijuanas Trench."

"Found the battery for your mom's dildo. http://imgur.com/XBmHG7I. C size for scale."