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Joke of the Day
"What's the difference between my wife and the dress? The dress is white and gold"
Next Joke
"My birthday is coming up, wife agreed to bday sex. Thankfully she'll be out of town on a business trip so I'll have the house all to myself."
"My girlfriend just told me she has a STD... I'm Gonorrhoea-valuate our relationship"
"[gf takes pregnancy test, starts crying] ""It's negative"" Lemme see it [reads] 'Not prego. Just fat. And ugly' Wow that's really negative"
"""You said send nudes? I thought you said send nukes"" And that, ladies and gentleman, is the real reason Clinton shall never be president."
"Who's the roundest knight of King Arthur's court? Circumference"
"Why'd Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. ` ` Knock Knock, who's there? Not Sally."
"[ouija board] Who are you? *board begins spelling* G-R-E-E-N--M-A-R-I-O What the -- a Luigi Board?! W-A-H-O-O--I-T-S-A--M-E"
"In Iraq are Kraft Foods discount coupons known as Kraft Dinar?"
"Remember ladies, Christmas is over if you sit on a strangers lap now and ask for stuff it's because you're a whore."