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Joke of the Day

"""You said send nudes? I thought you said send nukes"" And that, ladies and gentleman, is the real reason Clinton shall never be president."

"What has four legs and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table."

"If you break up and get back together more than twice, I will not listen or care about your relationship problems you idiot."

"Whats a statisticians favourite S Club 7 song? Reach For The **Stats**."

"""Can we talk later? The news is on... Well, if you have tuberculosis it's not gonna get any worse in the next 30 minutes, jesus."""

"Where do Bees use the bathroom? At the BP station. (thanks grandma)"

"What do you call a black guy that flys a plane? A pilot, you racist!"

"Have you heard about the restaurant on Mars? The food is great, but the atmosphere is lacking."

"Ever been to the Tower of Pisa? the security is pretty lenient"

"Terror attack in New York Thousands of people scream as Mariah Carey bombs Time Square"