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Joke of the Day

"Web Designer: ""Making my shit responsive, is a pain in the ass"" friend who is a web designer dropped that ""gem""."

"My next relationship will be with someone who thinks ""Wine"" is a perfectly acceptable answer when he asks what's for dinner."

"Was The Little Mermaid directed by a pilot? Because it's mostly Ariel footage."

"Say one positive thing about your opponent Well...he does convert oxygen into carbon dioxide which helps trees grow."

"What do you get when you cross an insomniac, dyslexic, and an agnostic? Someone who stays up all night wondering if there really is a dog."

"""Is it long enough to reach most people's beds?"" ""Yes."" ""Perfect, make it a couple inches shorter."" -Apple, creating the iPhone charger."

"Batman Daughter ask; BD - What is puberty? B- Do you bleed? BD - ... B - You Will"

"Why does the dwarf laugh when he runs? Cause the grass tickles his balls..."

"[teenage girl reading horoscope tweets] ""Scorpio's drink water when they're thirsty"" OMG THIS IS SO ME"

"Q: What do space aliens put on their windows? A: Venutian blinds."