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Joke of the Day

"People say that I'm skeptical but I don't believe them."

"What is the difference between a soap and a jew? There isn't."

"(Thought of this tonight) I saw my cat go under the porch. I thought it might give birth. Then it became a parent."

"I dont know if anyone else remember this joke - How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen consume? - Enough to kill two and a half men."

"I just got ripped off by a Chinese guy. This pan he sold me doesn't fly at all."

"Thousands of years ago, cats were worshiped as gods. Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this."

"Can't believe my dog just ran into Petco and left me in the car with the windows rolled up"

"That tattoo of wings on your back are good. But wings that small could hardly get you off the ground though. *reveals full body wing tattoo*"

"Octopus 1-you up for tennis? Octopus 2- I cant my tennis elbows are actin up again Octo1-..we dont have elb Octo2- I DONT WANNA PLAY CARL"

"Why don't cats play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs."