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Joke of the Day

"I dont know if anyone else remember this joke - How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen consume? - Enough to kill two and a half men."

"Every political Facebook status should start with, ""First of all, I have no idea what I'm talking about."""

"New study finds that everyone you disagree with is like so, so stupid."

"It is impolite to cry in front of the whole library about your WebMD self-diagnosis of terminally sprained sciatica pneumonia AIDS."

"My haircuts are just like my sex life Usually do it myself and there's a big mess I hate cleaning up afterwards."

"Somehow, I must have switched shopping carts while I was at the store. I don't remember buying any of this stuff. Or having an Asian baby."

"I'm 100% straight So straight I don't even like touching my own dick to masturbate. My friend Dave does it for me."

"Trunk dweeting. BRB"

"Why did they build a shrine to karl marx in Japan? Because he was a kami!"

"When my wife pisses me off, I get on her Pinterest and pin lots of mediocre shit, like cupcakes that just look like cupcakes."