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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend said I never do anything to help so I hid her phone. I'll prove her wrong when I find it."

"Reddit I'm in a bit of a pickle.. and it tastes great."

"What is the holiest chord? G sus"

"Where does Putin negotiate? The Crimea River"

"How does a mathematician get rid of constipation? He gets a pencil and works it out."

"Conjugating verbs is great It's always in-tense"

"Pretending you're dead to avoid conversation in the hospital is the worst way to learn how a defibrillator works."

"There was a new machine at the gym... After using it for 30 minutes, I felt sick. Maybe I bought too many chocolate bars..."

"Why are Panda's always sad? Because all their friends are dead."

"A poll showed that North Korea is the happiest nation in the world! 100% of citizens reported being happy!"