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Joke of the Day

"There was a new machine at the gym... After using it for 30 minutes, I felt sick. Maybe I bought too many chocolate bars..."

"Goldfish are the only pets with the decency to die just as the novelty wears off."

"If I wanted a Joke Id just stick the microphone to your moms vagina, the last thing that came out was a joke"

"How many germans does it take to change a lightbulb? One."

"You know what they say about living on Navy ships? It has its ups and downs."

"I carry one of those tiny Swiss Army knives with me at all times. You never know when you'll need a tiny blade to thwart an attacker."

"Student loans: because you should know what it's like to be one of the poor people you're always going on about"

"What's a Dragon Ball fan's favourite food? Vegeta-bles"

"If Clinton wins presidency, who will be First Lady? Monica Lewinsky"

"Where do Jewish kids with ADHD go for the summer? Concentration camp"