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Joke of the Day

"Joke Who will always be the #1 ranked father and son of all time? God"

"What's green with little red wheels? Grass. I was lying about the little red wheels. Missing my grandpa today. This was always his favorite."

"Your Bio says you like music. That's amazing. Seems like everybody else around here hates music. Kindred spirits, you and I."

"Why can't a bike stand on its own ? Because it's two tired."

"Friend: Did Eric survive the bear attack? Me: 'BEAR'-ly! F: HA! Any injuries? Me: {nervously} Ooooohhhhh BAD JOKE... He's definitely dead..."

"I finally found out what FDA stands for. Fucking Die Already"

"[landlord showing new tenant around] ""No smoking allowed"" ""How about pets?"" ""That's fine"" [dog walks in and lights up] ""We'll take it"""

"Misinterpreted some rabbit prints in the snow and told my scout troop to look out for babies running at 35mph."

"What's the best thing about living in Switzerland? Well, the flags a big plus."

"Meltdowns are what happens when you compartmentalize your thoughts, but forget to label them."