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Joke of the Day

"So, you're telling me my credit score should have three digits?"

"Give a pilgrim some corn... He eats for a day, teach a pilgrim to grow corn... He kills your people and takes your land."

"Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?"

"Girl, are you a glass of water because I think you're about to throw yourself at me."

"another candidate got the job i applyed for at Senate Office whomever you are, i hope your happy with that analist position you stole from me."

"Donald Trump wants to build a wall along the Mexican border but he wants them toupee."

"It doesn't matter if you come third in the water olympics... All dives matter."

"Two flies were on a cornflakes packet. ""Why are we running so fast?"" asked one. ""Because"" said the second ""it says 'tear along the dotted line'!"""

"This is probably a controversial take but I think the sanitation worker responsible for garbage collection on Sesame Street should be fired."

"I get a little too excited when I hear the sound of sizzling fajitas go by."