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Joke of the Day

"Donald Trump wants to build a wall along the Mexican border but he wants them toupee."

"I found out blowing in the dogs face makes her stop barking. I tried the same thing on my wife to make her stop yelling and she bit me."

"How To Avoid Dating You're too young for me. I'm too young for you. I don't date men my age. Okay, but after I finish my antibiotics."

"What did Mike Tyson say when he saw mold? That's growth."

"are you the girl who has to type everything said in court? ""yes"" I'm sorry *looks back at prosecutor and answers his question as a dolphin*"

"Do you know how to make Holy Water? You boil the hell out of it"

"Like my Great Grandmother always used to say,,,, Marry someone who will love you for your posts and not your profile picture.'"

"I lost my girlfriend recently. Then the topic moved away from science and she was fine again."

"Women are like pizza... They're better hot, but still good when they are cold."

"My buddies said I should sign up for a Golf Tournament I told them no, I always lose, Then they said it was for crippled children. I thought, well damn, maybe I could win this then."