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Joke of the Day

"Two flies were on a cornflakes packet. ""Why are we running so fast?"" asked one. ""Because"" said the second ""it says 'tear along the dotted line'!"""

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"What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up? The Army."
"""Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot."""
"Only an ass can be divided in half."
"Why did the elephant cross the road ? Because the chicken was having a day off !"
"Whiteboards are amazing! They're just so remarkable!"
"Me and my girlfriend are just too different... I exist and she doesn't"
"[interrupts brain surgeon] yes, but I read on Web MD that"
"What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods? Santa stops after three HOs."
"I dont know about you guys, but I am amazed Pringles is able to constantly grow the same shaped potato. Science."