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Joke of the Day

"Said the Buddhist to the hot dog vendor... ""Make me one with everything"""

"Your mama is so ugly I will slap her face off of her face!"

"Whats the difference between driving and getting a blowjob? I can only hold one beer when I'm driving."

"There's nothing sadder then the look on my dogs face after he hears something hit the floor and discovers it's only lettuce "

"Request: Jokes for the sick? I have a good friend who was just hospitalized, hopefully nothing too serious. I'd love to send him a few short, clean jokes to cheer him up. Thanks!"

"Had a conversation with my ex-wife over a drink this afternoon. It was cordial."

"I'm so single my cat has a cat."

"I bring my Epipen everywhere It's my greatest treasure. I think my friend really wanted me to have it. He gave it to me right before he died."

"My wife and I have been happily married for two years. 1997 & 2004"

"I'm in the middle of inventing emo playing cards. You have to shuffle them, but afterwards the deck cuts itself."