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Joke of the Day

"There's nothing sadder then the look on my dogs face after he hears something hit the floor and discovers it's only lettuce "

"What does smoking a cigarette and eating a pussy have in common? [NSFW] The flavor gets stronger as you get closer to the butt."

"TIL: Amy Winehouse spent the last moment of her life watching her own video clips on Youtube before her death. She must have read the comments."

"The longest relationship I've had is with my first vibrator. We were together 7 years. Off and on."

"Interviewer: Give an example of a difficult scenario &how you handled it. Me: I poured a bowl of cereal, but had no milk. I used ice cream."

"I went to the doctor yesterday I told him my penis suddenly turned into a tiny green ball. He said I may have peacock syndrome."

"Whooooaaaa, I'm halfway therrreee WHOOOAAAA, LOSING ALL MY HAIRRRR Take this wig, we'll fake it I swearrrrr WHOAOHH, LOSING ALL MY HAIRRR"

"Capitalization is important There's a big difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse."

"What do they leave on your pillow at a bordello in Dijon, France? Condom-Mints"

"This will be the fifth year in a row that my in-laws will come over for Christmas... I think this time, we should let them in..."