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Joke of the Day
"How did one pothead greet the other? High"
Next Joke
"What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? 1 less drunk"
"If you're gonna by me a drink..... You better at least push my stool in!"
"Put your GPS on full volume for your daily commute if you want to know what marriage is like."
"A lady friend asked me back to her place to chat about conspiracy theories... Orwell, you know."
"Me: Wow, 5k followers Wife: Is your top tweet still something I said? Me: Ya Wife: Then aren't they really MY followers? Me: *drinks heavily"
"I just saw a guy with the Monster energy logo tattooed on his neck, so if your village is missing their idiot, we have him."
"What did the pirate say when he turned 80 Aye matey."
"How many surreal artists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three, one to hold the giraffe, and one to put the clocks in the bath tub."
"I got so drunk the other night that I lost my glasses. The rest is a blur."