127318

Joke of the Day

"Me: Wow, 5k followers Wife: Is your top tweet still something I said? Me: Ya Wife: Then aren't they really MY followers? Me: *drinks heavily"

"How many Freudian analysts does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change it, and the other to hold the penis. LADDER. I MEANT LADDER."

"THERAPIST: your problem is, that youre perfect, and everyone is jealous of your good posts, and that makes you rightfully upset. ME: I agree"

"Why a baker? Why did the baker become a baker? He just couldn't cut it as a butcher."

"What does a gay horse eat? HAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY"

"An old man told me this old joke: What did the blind man say when he walked past the fish store? ""Hello, ladies"""

"I like my women like I like my beer. . . . . . cold, pale and without a head."

"What do you call a woman with one leg? Eileen, right? But what if she is Asian. Then it's Irene."

"What did the calf say to the silo? ""Is my fodder in there?"""

"What do you call a man who owns a club for porn addicts? Master Bates"