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Joke of the Day

"A lady friend asked me back to her place to chat about conspiracy theories... Orwell, you know."

"BREAKING - The Russian Navy has released a statement after accidentally sinking one of it's own submarines Oops, wrong sub."

"ChristianMingle is also a great site if you're just looking to get an incredible side hug."

"You hear about those robbers who steal shoes for fun? It's how they get their kicks."

"What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? You can't peanut butter your dick in someone's asshole"

"I can't cook. My strategy for operating the oven is basically the same as my strategy for sex I do my best to turn it on, then I stick my stuff in and hope for the best."

"The guy at the urinal next to me must really like my wrist watch."

"The end of a relationship isn't the worst thing. It's worse when it doesn't end after the end."

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a garabonzo bean? I don't have a garabonzo bean in my garage because that's where I get pee'd on so there is tarps everywhere."

"What is Vladimir Putin's favourite Justin Timberlake song? Crimea river"